Ah, sarcasm. Maybe because I clap my hands when the credits roll at the end of a movie? Like for your friends and close ones, here are some witty responses and replies to make them laugh, because they know exactly how you're doing and ask you as par of formality. Thats because I only enjoy long, romantic walks to the fridge. Lets face itat my age, Im very pleased to be anywhere. George Burns (comedian), The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive. Joshua Burns, All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage. Lord Byron (poet), Im always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realize that Im listening to it. George Carlin (comedian), For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off. Johnny Carson (talk show host), I am prepared to meet my maker. 57. You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. He's jokingly texting if you're ok. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." Paul Levesque (Triple H), pro wrestler & VP at WWE "It's funny now because I'm kind of in this weird kind of combo twilight zone of the last bits of my in-ring . 84. Great, but I should warn you that I am totally biased. Because youre highly qualified. If you want me to accept you as you are, Im going to have to lie to myself about liking you. I dont tell you how to live your life, dont tell me how to live mine thanks. Sort of. Yup, I dont share it. Congrats, guys! There are nosy people everywhere! You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. My psychiatrist says that I shouldnt discuss it with strangers. 4. Dont let your mind wander. As geeky as it is, this funny response to I love you has got to make you chuckle. provided, of course, that he really is dead." I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. If you knock on my hearts door, I might let you in. Wait, are you my Superman/Wonder Woman? But, if you do say it, it will highlight the problem. 98. Im always there when I need me. For instance, have you hooked up since you've broken up? 10 Perfect, Sarcastic Responses To Annoying Humblebrags This answer is correct because the best responses to "how are you" should contain an adverb. When you look at what some people have done for each other and compare it to what you expect. 12. Ever wanted to be the wise-ass who always has a comeback for everything? I dont know where you got your looks, but I hope you kept the receipt. The Funniest Replies for People Who Are Always Asked "Are You Okay?" My blood pressure this is an all-time classic, not the best but had to be said. Most of the time, that is not true. For some reason, some people think that not texting back is cool. Share the best GIFs now >>> Make sure the person you say this to is able to take a joke. Unknown, "He was a great patriot, a humanitarian, a loyal friend . Everything is always better on payday right!? 95. 43. *Siri activates front camera*. 3. Sarcastic response: Express the appropriate level of enthusiasm, then let this handsome, cheeky British man (aka Jimmy from You're The Worst) do the talking: 3. Often, we text some people when were at rock bottom, to try and get their help, or just have someone to talk to. If they insist that they are bad at replying, you should unfollow them, because you are bad at following people who are bad at replying. You nervously reply "yeah, but I'm a little busy and-", only for one person to reply "um, no one asked you. (Use a sexy tone). This one is bound to get a laugh. [*clap your hands*]. "Yeah, you're three years late. Be grateful if it happens in that order. David Gerrold (author), Self-decapitation is an extremely difficult, not to say dangerous, thing to attempt. WS Gilbert (dramatist), I bequeath my entire estate to my wife on the condition that she marries again. This way, youre insulting themand they just might be dumb enough not to notice. 15. Grab a few of these snarky but oh-savage good comebacks ahead of time, and youll be ready to win any argument. Mentally? In reality, "How are you?" could be more than just a . You may join me, though. Usually, people live and learn. No, they're prison pants. All jokes aside, death is one of the few "sure things" in life, and it's also something all of us have in common. To text, most of us need our thumbs. The truth is, if you really want to get him back, you should follow the steps outlined here.. 99 Savage And Funny Answers To "How Old Are You?" Thats the biggest joke Ive heard recently. Tell me, how can I face my problems when the problem is my face? However, I dont recall anything about morons. [Read: How to be funny and make someone laugh over text just by being YOU]. This person is taking so long to reply, you will be waiting for geology to change before you get one. "Any day above ground is a good day. The next time the cat gets your tongue, heres a big list of good, witty, nasty, funny sarcastic and clever comebacks for every conversation, no matter where you are! Nothing that you probably cant figure out if you tried. 13. Blogging about a wide range of topics to help facilitate a better future. I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. Get your own life first before you try sharing it. I plead the fifth. Hi! HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. Don't Push It Too Far. What? Theres too much Ghostbusters texting potential to not take advantage of the pun-tastic opportunity. I havent met the right one yet. What Can Be the Worst Epic Responses To I Love You? - Bonobology.com 1. Are You Still Alive GIFs | Tenor It can be good to just say it how it is. 13. If you've ever worked in an office, used municipal buildings or lived in a city, chances are, you already know what public notices are bland, dull, usually complaining and rarely funny posters that tell us somewhat useful information about all kinds of things. "I am doing good, thank you" is basic, and you can do better than that! Patrick Moore (astronomer), "Sometimes I wish my first word was 'quote' so that on my deathbed, my last words could be 'end quote.'" ", This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. Depending on your mood and relationship with the person, you can go one of many ways. If there is just one valid reason for someone not replying to you, that reason would be their death. The Nine Canonical Responses to 'U Mad,' the - Intelligencer Well, Im hoping its going to get a lot better, I cant lie. I only fall in love with anime characters. 38. Norman Wisdom (comedian), "I have lost friends, some by death, others through their sheer inability to cross the street." Here are some funny, witty, snarky, smart, and sarcastic responses to some of those annoying everyday questions its hard to avoid: I couldnt possibly cover all of the annoying everyday questions that are probably chipping away at you, but here are some of the most popular: Related 26+ Funny Responses to Being Asked on a Date (Replying Yes or No), Related 29+ Funny Responses to Compliments. I dont have time to accommodate other human beings in my life! However, it is best to stick to the basics with a colleague. Alive Quotes (560 quotes) - Goodreads Clever comebacks not only showcase your distastethey demonstrate your intelligence, too. "You know I can do this anytime.". 9. Nevertheless, life must go on, and sometimes you just have to go with the flow, as they sayeven if you don't want to discuss your relationship status! Funny Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! 62. I wrote him a cheque for it, post-dated of course. Chic Murray (comedian), When I die, I hope to go to heaven, whatever the hell that is. Ayn Rand (author), The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesnt get worse every time congress meets. Will Rogers (actor), "My grandmother was a very tough woman. Your question is registered, we will answer when in the mood. 100+ Funny Things to Ask Alexa (with its Hilarious Responses) - ITTVIS 96. I think it's a great response when you're possibly feeling cranky. If I had a tail, I would wag it! I only went to the gym four times instead of my usual five." Sarcastic response: "Yeah totally. But, compared to messaging, pigeons are much slower. Not. 16. Relationships, Marriage, Couples, Grief, Life Coaching, Certified Emotional Intelligence Practitioner, Relationships, Beauty & Lifestyle, Health & Wellness, Infographic: Tips To Continue A Conversation After Responding To How Are You. This does not seem right. Now, I understand why some animals eat their young. Thats because I get about as much attention as a white crayon. Elon Musk targets Sen. Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep Mentally? They might even steal it to use in the future. 3. You just live. 7. But if youre getting fed up with always being asked the same questions, you shouldnt feel bad about giving a funny or witty reply. So, how does average sound? There is plenty of room. 3. Just Smile And Nod Im glad that I sleep so peacefully, knowing that Im single and aint nobody cheating on me tonight. Chuck Bass? You don't want to be rude, but it's okay to give them a little sarcasm by using this phrase. Not so much. If someone clearly doesnt want to talk to you, the best thing to do is not talk to them. 2. Like seriously, you hoped for him to be run over by a truck or something. No one will expect to hear it, so you'll be catching your friends off guard. Your hair looks great! 6. Who knows, maybe you can steer a conversation in a more intriguing path. I never even listen when you tell me them. I cant afford to die; Id lose too much money. George Burns (comedian), I do not fear death. It doesn't mean that you don't actually take showers. Being single is much better than being married. From hair trends to relationship advice, our daily newsletter has everything you need to sound like a person whos on TikTok, even if you arent. 31. You are waiting for their reply, and they should be aware of this. I'm happy! OK, so now at least you should have some idea of how to respond if your ex texts you out of the blue. How Am I Still Alive. Over The Phone or On The Phone Which is Correct? 2 I'm Still on the Right Side of the Grass As long as you're still breathing, you can use this reply. My standards are higher than what Ive seen lately. Living a life of suppressed rage, emotional imbalance, and denial. Today, well look at 30 ways you can respond to a late message or reply. When someone insults someone, the insulted might walk out of the room, or just stop talking to the other person. Let's grab a drink" 3) "Hey, how was that [insert something specific she mentioned when you met her]?" 4) "You can stop worrying about me I made it home safely last night" Theres only one problem with your face: I can see it. Let's face itat my age, I'm very pleased to be anywhere." George Burns (comedian) "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." Joshua Burns. Click here for additional information. How dare you assume such a thing just a confusing remark. Conspiracy theorist group QAnon hit a bizarre milestone on Tuesday, when its supporters gathered for what they believed would be the return of the late JFK junior - who, they postured, would be. Not everybody may appreciate them. Before I answer, I let you know that those who know my age get bad luck. Which just make the unexpected moments of levity all the more hilarious. Finnish with this conversation! 34 Best Responses To Late Replies (While Texting) Doing fairly well, unless you have some contagious disease and are about to infect me . It might seem like a joke, but this is what I think. No, not really. Sorry, life. Otherwise, how are people going to get the message that you dont want to keep answering the same questions with the same half-hearted answers? He sold it to me on his deathbed. As a result, they were so fixated on thinking about you, they forgot to reply to you. 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. Be Thankful To Be Alive Quotes. 67. Mark Twain (author), "I like sleeping; it's like death without the commitment." Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. Tell them to stop being nosy and avoid answering. 42. "Ugh I was so lazy this week. 19 Funny Texting Comebacks To Always Come Out On Top - TextGod.com It may come across as insensitive, but that's just how our current world works. 51 Funny and Flirty Responses to "How Are You" Texts 2. I didnt realize it at first, but I grew up and turned into a Squidward. See more ideas about maxine, bones funny, funny quotes. 1. You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. 82. I thought I had the flu, but then I realized your face makes me sick to my stomach. Ive seen your kind before but last time, I had to pay admission. Taco Tuesday is pressure enough, I tell you! I dont mind you talking so much, as long as you dont mind me not listening. What's your sign? Socrates (philosopher), "The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated." 70. Check out: Image credits Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash. Here's the good news: I've collected plenty of answer options for you to make that unbearably awkward question a little more bearable. I have been going through GOT in my work life. Hopefully he'll compliment you right back. Or, "Happy and content, thanks for asking. I cant even afford to feed myself! Reply. What if questions can help you form connections fast, but you don't want to rush or force it. Its not my choice, but its still a choice. Some of the best, wittiest, and most humorous quotations in the English language are quotations about age, childhood, adolescence, middle age, and old age most of all, about growing old! And if they don't reply to this, you can walk the walk away. Id hug and kiss you if you were single, just like me. Shane from The L Word? Ghosting is an unfortunately very common occurrence, according to a 2020 Hinge survey, which found that 91% of users had been ghosted at least once. I thought you already knew you were a sociopath. A little bit worse now that youve asked. So, you changed your mind? 350 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. By acting as though they are replying too fast, you highlight the fact that they are replying too slow. Id rather have a doughnut on my finger than a real ring. 54. 30. 53. 7. 30 Funny Comebacks For Late Messages - Grammarhow You do the work of three men: Larry, Moe, and Curly. Who knows, they might just do it. If youre still single, some people will ask you for a reason or explanation, in one way or another. I know youre nobodys fool, but maybe youll be adopted someday. Save the high-quality PDF version on your device now. Funny Responses to "What Are You Doing?" What does it look like I'm doing? Plotting how Im going to take over the world. 5. I firmly believe that a romantic relationship is a huge distraction. Definitely will catch your casual convo counterpart off guard and will probably bring a chuckle. 1. This one could be a funny or cute response to sorry for a late reply, based on how they take it. How Am I Still Alive #shorts #overwatch2 #overwatch - YouTube *wink*. Oftentimes, these people just cant help but stick their noses in things they actually have no business with. At least my hair looks amazing. 4. [Read: How to have playful banter and keep the flirting alive forever]. 86. (This is an awesome response if you want to fluster them and catch them off-guard) So much better now that you are with me. The best I can be. Whoever cast a voodoo spell on my love life can chill now. Youre supposed to think that theyre so busy being cool that they dont have time for you. 1. count_scoopula 6 yr. ago. For a prankster, though, street signs or a note out in public is an easy opportunity to get a guaranteed audience for their smart . Is my relationship status a joke to you?! Funny and Clever Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?". . Are you going to marry me? 35 Best Texts to Respond to a Date that has Ghosted You 90 Sarcastic Quotes for Witty Comebacks Full of Sarcasm - Quote Ambition 20. I am better on the inside than I look on the outside. Required fields are marked *. Some people may have thyroid problems, but I can tell youre fat because youre lazy. Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, well be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. Here's another way to respond to your crush. The data will take longer to reach Earth than it would if it was sent from someone on Earth. My grandfather had a ton of these. Totally fine! You dont need to say it. It looks a little too clingy and hard to maintain. I once showed up twenty-four hours early for a date. Recognize the other person's boundaries, and try not to cross them. We all grow up as we get older. I am feeling so good that I have to sit on my hands to stop myself from clapping. So much better than most people. Living an amazing dream. I am doing a bit better than before, but not nearly as awesome as I am going to be. bluntz strain indica or sativa; best mobile number tracker with google map in nepal The person who told you to be yourself gave you some bad advice. 14. Everyone always thinks being asked how you are means your health or a general standing-but what about if it isn't? Passed into the next room and told me to tell you go fuck yourself. 60. I guess what Im trying to say is, pick your response carefully based on who youre talking to. 101. Sarcastic Captions for Instagram. - Anonymous. Ever wondered: "What if I'm buried when I'm just in a coma?" 58. " Actually, you're mad" is a version of the classic, rhetorically sophisticated comeback "I'm rubber, you're glue." This one is the white-belt level of "who's mad?" martial arts a simple. It's impossible for things to be perfect. Id love to insult you, but you probably wouldnt understand. It could be raining men, and Id still be single. At the end of the day, if theyre not putting in the effort to let you know theyre not interested, theyre probably not worth your time. Youre not going to use the same response to your dad as you would your best friend, right? If this is the person youre talking to, just insure them that you are aware they are not away from their phone. Listen, maybe your crush really did lose their phone. Because a single-storey is much more economical than a double-storey. 54 Exciting What If Questions - Best Ways You'll Love Fun - Mantelligence One common excuse that people come up with when they take a while to reply is Im bad at replying. My only talent is not being in a relationship. It would be great if puppies would stay puppies forever. You have an old soul. Hopefully, not as good as I will ever be. Take Your Time. Im quite certain that Im single because I didnt forward those chain messages stating: forward this to 10 people and you will meet the love of your life in 10 days, or else you suffer bad luck in the past. I dont think youre stupid. 40. Thats because my husband/wife wont let me date. Im Alive GIFs - Find & Share on GIPHY Was that comment meant to offend me? Getting into a romantic relationship with someone may seem like a good idea, but so was getting into Titanic. It is a humorous way of saying they have not heard from you in a while. Once youre dead, youre made for life. Jimi Hendrix (musician), Death will be a great relief, no more interviews. Katharine Hepburn (actress), Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men. Herodotus (historian), You know youre old when the candles cost more than the cake. Bob Hope (comedian), Some men are alive simply because it is against the law to kill them. EW Howe (author), There are more dead people than living, and their numbers are increasing. Alternatively, you can let them know you are doing well but still need time to process your emotions. 73. This might be okay if they take up to 24 hours, but not more than that. But sometimes sending a little message before excommunication can give you the confidence boost you need to dropkick them from your mind for forever. "I'll get back to you once I'm back from my long-awaited trip to the fridge.". Id punch you in the face, but the thought of touching your face disgusts me. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping." Your friends will expect you to say "fine" or "good," so shake things up by providing an unexpected answer. Some people spend all their time on their phone. [deleted] 5 yr. ago. Me being single is just a conspiracy! Too early to say, it hasnt finished yet. Steven Wright (comedian), "What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death." Who told you that? but it's just so blunt and funny. 19. conservation international ceo; little debbie peanut butter creme pies discontinued.
